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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, on a sunny day their light comes from the glass ceiling. edit; missing words"

"So a train runs over a woman... A train runs over a woman... Who's fault is it? The train driver's because he was driving through the kitchen."

"I just bought a tent with a toilet in it Shit's intense"

"A farmer asks a physicist for a system to collect chicken eggs The physicist thinks for a while and says: -I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens and in vacuum."

"My boyfriend and I are Cherokee Indians. He stood me up at our favorite restaurant last night... But it's OK. I don't think we could have stayed anyway, we didn't have a reservation."

"What's the best part about having a dog lick peanut butter off your balls? Finishing."

"We should replace Punxsutawney Phil with Ben Bernanke... that motherfucker also never gets it right."

"Two muffins are in the oven... One muffin says ""Man, it's hot in here!"" the other muffin yells ""OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"""

"I was eating out this girl the other day and there was Horse semen in there and I was like ""Damn,Grandma that is how you died"""

"Seriously wondering how many times is it appropriate to say ""What?"" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?"