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Joke of the Day

"Pressing A too fast and having to talk to the Pokemon Center's nurse again was by far the worst part of my childhood."

"What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books? ""I don't know what you're Tolkien about!"" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb."

"Do you know why... ...they bury lawyers 10 feet under, instead of the usual 6 feet under? Because ""deep down"" they're good people."

"I am a kid at heart and a 52 year old coal miner at liver."

"Donald Trump on not repeating himself at last nights debate: ""I do not repeat myself! I do not repeat myself!"" Funny, cause its true."

"Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work!"

"Fortune teller told me that I will be fucked by a beautiful lady today, and damn he was right a pretty mail lady just handed me over an audit letter from IRS."

"What's 11q minus 1q? You're welcome."

"Reese Witherspoon was arrested Friday night. If some rag doesn't use ""REESE IS FALLING TO PIECES"" as a headline then this world is bullshit."

"North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media. When everyone knows that America is the best country in the world."