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Joke of the Day

"Reese Witherspoon was arrested Friday night. If some rag doesn't use ""REESE IS FALLING TO PIECES"" as a headline then this world is bullshit."

"Don't glare at me lady! You're the one who named your kid Marco then yelled his name in the store!"

"What do snakes have on their bath towels ? Hiss and Hers !"

"What do you call a hot day in Canada? A Nova Scorcha!"

"""I just want to meet a nice guy."" -Girls who exclusively date assholes"

"I just joined alcoholics anonymous I still drink, just use a different name"

"I've been getting a lot more use out of my treadmill since I put a blanket and pillow on it."

"teacher: are u a visual thinker, auditory thinker, or kinesthetic thinker me: oh im not a thinker"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Aye, ye think it be ""R"", but it be the ""C!"""

"Every one knows about Elvis Everyone knows about Elvis the Pelvis. Less is known about his brother Inis."