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Joke of the Day
"Peter Dinklage is a Star! He is a White Dwarf."
Next Joke
"You are? Follow instructions. Say - Eye Spell-map Say-ness"
"What do you call Judge Judy when she dresses like a vampire? Cunt Dracula"
"What's the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled 'The World's Top Accountants - Nude!'."
"Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone."
"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite sport? NASCAR, because it's always heading to the left."
"[prison riot] me: here comes the tickle monster!! [gets stabbed 100 times]"
"You'd think that with NSA reading our tweets all the time, they could star or retweet some of the good ones."
"What do math and mermaids have in common? They both have an alge-bra."
"I met a farmer who genetically altered a chicken to have six legs so his kids didn't fight over the drumsticks. I asked him how it tasted. He said he didn't know. He couldn't catch it."