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Joke of the Day

"If you think ""Terminator: Genisys"" is going to be bloody... ... just wait until you see ""Terminator: Leviticys."""

"A teenager walks into a library. He asks the librarian, ""Where can I find a book on how to kill myself?"" The librarian retorts, ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back!"""

"Did you know that the word ""suns"" upside down is still ""suns""?"

"I just went into the garden without wearing a coat. This is probably how Bear Grylls got started."

"Q: Why did Thoreau build a house? A: Because he wanted to be walled-in."

"If the tv show ""Cops"" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from ppl with blurry faces. They always cause trouble."

"One time my dad caught me smoking an e-cig so he took me out to the shed and made me smoke an entire VCR."

"What phrase do prostitutes and mafia members both say? You lookin to get whacked?"

"Titanic sank 103 years ago... ...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!"

"The problem with girl scout cookies: no matter how many I eat, I always want Samoa."