68421

Joke of the Day

"Give man a jacket and he'll be warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it and he'll never go outside again."

Next Joke
 
"Why does wonder woman fly? Because she can't drive for sh*t."
"I told my wife I wanted her to spread my ashes for traction when the back porch gets icy That way she can put me to work and step on me one last time."
"My daughter told me to treat her like a princess... so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France."
"I told my dog to heel... So he went to the hospital and did all he could."
"Why look something up on Google when you can ask the question on Facebook and let everyone know you're an idiot?"
"Why does Trump only use a laptop computer? Because of the small keyboard."
"I took my Biology exam last Friday I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently ""Blacks"" and ""Mexicans"" were NOT the correct answers."
"How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie."
"[3 AM] 5yo: *sobbing* Daddy Me: Ughhh..yes, sweetheart, what's wrong? 5yo: I'm lonely... Me: Then, don't ever get married. 5yo: Ok, Daddy."