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Joke of the Day

"You know what really grinds my gears? Not pushing my clutch pedal down far enough"

"Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees. You ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? *Then it's working*."

"Any good jokes involving an Armadillo, a banana and a grandmother? Just checking how creative the Humorists in Reddit are."

"I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what shocked him more, my naked body, or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"My friend was in a terrible accident, and now has to breathe through a straw ...you could say he sucks at life."

"I'm crowd funding an organic lettuce purchase from Whole Foods."

"I measure how hard I'm working by whether I feel compelled to close my eyes and nap while sitting on the toilet."

"watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college"

"Why can't Bane play baseball? He always breaks the bat."

"Never trust a woman who takes pictures from the neck up."