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Joke of the Day

"What if 85% of Homeless veterans are 2LTs lost on a land navigation course?"

"Why do Mexicans re-fry beans? Ever seen a spic do something right the first time?"

"Happy Birthday, Jesus! The lawn looks great, thanks!"

"I would teach Honey-boo-boo to speak in the third person, just to hear what she'd say if she had a small cut on her arm."

"The ""oops, wrong hole"" excuse doesn't work when she catches you with her best friend."

"Gf: do I look fat in these pants? Brain: oh god it's a trap, this is what we've been training for Me: I've seen worse Brain: WTF MAN"

"Time zones are amazing, it's a different time all around the world. For example, in some parts of the U.S. it's still 1950."

"Whenever I throw bread at the birds in the river I always miss Because they duck."

"I found my wheelie bin in the middle of the street this morning. If I hadn't brought it back in, it could have wheelie bin dangerous."

"Why did the pirate become a tenor? Because he has a lot of experience on the high C."