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Joke of the Day

"Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar... The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die."

"What do you do when you see a space man? Park your car, man."

"I'm an undecided voter. Shoot myself, overdose, or jump off a cliff?"

"If a woman has fallen an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her."

"Why do you never see a black person with Down Syndrome? God doesn't punish anyone twice."

"Earth: ""You're causing tidal waves!"" Moon: ""So?"" Earth: ""I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation!"" Moon: ""Very funny."""

"You'll never know what you want until someone says you can't have it."

"Every time you do a shot of tequila, an angel hi-fives a fairy and they agree to meet later to kick you in the head while you're sleeping."

"Do they make special shoes for gingers with no soles?"

"I couldn't get an erection while having sex with my wife... So I took her to a nice dinner. There was no hard-feelings."