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Joke of the Day

"I work in a call center and a customer told me this one. A lonely man puts in ad out in the paper looking for a wife. the next day he gets 100 responses all from men saying ""you can have mine"""

"Why is the moon like a dollar? It has four quarters."

"""Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you"" ""Yeah....so is a grenade"""

"Did you hear the one about the old man at the doctor? Man: I can't pee, doc! Doctor: How old are you? Man: I'm 90 years old. Doctor: Oh, you've peed enough! Heard this one in a bathroom at Walmart."

"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? You can eat a bowling ball."

"If 2016 had a twitter account it should have one of those ""If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"" bios Because 2016 is a crazy bitch"

"Did you know unicorns exist? Yeah man. You didn't know? They're short and fat, and people call them rhinos."

"When does a black person become a nigger? As soon as he leaves the room."

"What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids? Fire."

"Give man a jacket and he'll be warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it and he'll never go outside again."