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Joke of the Day

"Real redneck woman. How do you know you're with a real redneck woman? She can put in a dip know what to spit and what to swallow."

"What runs all day but never gets tired? Water."

"Who's your favorite running back? Haha http://www.mayfieldsportsmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Ha-Ha-Clinton-Dix.jpg"

"If I am ever in a coma on life support I want my family to unplug me... And then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Say what you like about Donald Trump.. But he's doing more than anyone else in the world to stop Donald Trump from being elected president."

"You know why most americans love minions so much? Because they resemble Twinkies.."

"What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani wedding? I don't know. I just fly the drone."

"Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. How long have you felt like this? Ever since I was a puppy!"

"When you are on a first date and she says to you: ""I want you to treat me like a movie star,"" it is vitally important to establish which type of movie."