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Joke of the Day

"Curiosity killed the cat, and got your daughter pregnant."

"If your new boyfriend carved your initials into a tree on your first date, let the fact he brought a knife be a sign of things to come."

"I'm going to grab 'em by the pussy. Don't downvote me!! I'm being ""presidential"""

"Why do girls wear so much make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"Coke Zero Pepsi One Well played Pepsi."

"Garbanzo beans vs chickpeas I used to to not know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea. But last night I definitely didn't have a garbanzo on my face."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky? It's erotic if you use a feather, but it's kinky if you use the whole chicken!"

"Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces."

"I make breakfast for my new boyfriend. ""How do you like your eggs? I like mine *fertilised*."""

"[looking at pics] Where's that? -Hawaii Where's that? -Jamaica Daddy where was I? -You weren't born Why's the folder called 'Good Ole Days'?"