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Joke of the Day

"A gentleman goes into a doctor's office... ...and says, ""Doctor, Doctor, I keep forgetting things!"" The doctor responds, ""When did this start?"" and the gentleman replies, ""When did what start?"""

"What do you call a Starving German Woman Faminenazi"

"I dont have sex on the first date unless it's an option"

"Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor."

"I may not be book smart or street smart and I may not have much common sense and I'm really not sure where I was going with this."

"Hey, yeah I'll be ready in a minute. I'm just going to shower and jerkoff. just kidding, I'm not going to shower"

"The hurricane coming in is called Joaquin. When it leaves, does it Joaqout?"

"I was just asked to give my credit card details. I said, ""It's rectangular, blue and not very valuable."""

"If you want your dreams to be as fascinating to other people as they are to you, don't mention it's a dream until the end of the story."

"How do you get a 90 year old lady to yell fuck? Get another 90 year old to yell ""BINGO!"""