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Joke of the Day

"What does a monster do when he loses his head? He calls a head hunter."

"Get hoarders addicted to crack, they will sell all their s*it..Problem solved."

"What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean ? Nothing they just waved!!! Sea what I did there!!! If you laughed hit that like button, come on don't be a beach Thank you thank you "

"What's the difference between a feminist and a spear? A spear has a point!"

"Why are women so bad at parking? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives."

"It's a dark stormy night. You're scared & alone. You hear a bump in the night. You jump! You scream! Then your cat comes in the house drunk."

"I hate gingerbread. If I owned a bakery, I wouldn't tolerate gingerbread. I'd be like, ""Get outta here, you redhead. Your money isn't good here."""

"Can't decide if I should start this laundry or fake my own death."

"One day, I hope you choke on all the shit you talk."

"Do you want to know how to keep a dummy intrigued? I'll tweet it tomorrow."