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Joke of the Day

"The next time someone describes me as feisty, I'm going to stand in front of them and air punch rapidly like Scrappy Doo."

Next Joke
 
"I read a magazine article about a population increase in Hawaii. The author was Commonawannalaya."
"When I'm Sad.. I sing, then realize my voice is worse than my problems."
"""My cat just got ran over"" You cant end a sentence with a preposition ""My cat just got ran over lol"""
"I discovered I have a fetish for figuring things out. (X-post /r/puns) I came to the realization."
"caught my son running a google search for "" shit stain pussy "". i am beyond distraught. we are strictly a Bing family"
"I have a nightlight flashlight...I can only see in the dark for 2 seconds in 10 second intervals"
"""I may be fat, but you're ugly I can lose weight!"""
"Teachers in school told me I wouldn't amount to anything, now i'm laughing all the way to the bank... To dispute my most recent overdraft fee"
"Damn girl, are you the wife of a convict serving a long term in a federal penitentiary? Because you left before I even finished my sentence"