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Joke of the Day

"Unless you can explain how you know me in three words or less, Facebook Friend Request: DENIED."

"if ur date declines a kiss at the end of the night open ur mouth and let the ants escape. Then say ""it's ok I had a mouthful of ants anyway"""

"Why is everyone in the Soviet Union always in a hurry? Why is everyone in the Soviet Union is always in a hurry? They're all Russian."

"Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess? It's the only chance they have to mate."

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees"

"8yo [looking at a poorly wrapped gift] was Santa drunk when he wrapped this? Me: that's purely speculation"

"I got some used paint In the shape of a house."

"What did the farmer say when someone pooped into his water source? Well shit..."

"How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over? He used a Luigi Board."

"Linkin Park My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday...she said she couldn't stand my Linkin Park references anymore, but I guess in the end...it doesn't even matter."