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Joke of the Day

"Motorist: Does a deer have a horn? Police Officer: No a deer has two horns. Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle."

"What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up."

"Do you deliver? A man rings up his local Indian restaurant and asks, ""Do you deliver?"" And the man at the other end of the phone replies, ""Nah mate. Just beef, chicken and lamb."""

"What do The Walking Dead and Fast & Furious have in common? dead walkers"

"Worst things the parents do in Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"

"I thought I was just really tired but it's been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now."

"Why did two ferrets decide to meet? They were trying to start a business."

"TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger. He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right."

"What do anal sex and eating your vegetables have in common? (NSFW) They're both things that if you're not forced to do them as a child, you likely won't enjoy as an adult."

"How is the Torah like Kidz Bop? It's for yids, by yids!"