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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross a whistle with a blizzard? Edward Snowed-in"
Next Joke
"A bug zapper, but for people trying to come into my office."
"If I was a fashion designer Id call myself ""who"" so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say ""Who?"" ""Yes who?"" ""Yes."""
"how did the art student make a million dollar work of art? He started with 2 million."
"whenever i see sombody obsessively taking photos of the sunset, i go up to them & whisper ""dont worry.. the sun is gonna come back tomorow"""
"I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought ""Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness"" was inappropriate."
"Everyone's making Mayan jokes Like there's no tomorrow!"
"Have you seen the features on the next-gen iPhone? Just google 'Galaxy S4 reviews'."
"Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome."
"[Date] Her: Any hobbies? Me: Monging mostly. Her: Huh? Me: I'm a monger Her: Huh? Me: Iron, fish, war... You name it -- I'll monger it"