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Joke of the Day

"[Date] Her: Any hobbies? Me: Monging mostly. Her: Huh? Me: I'm a monger Her: Huh? Me: Iron, fish, war... You name it -- I'll monger it"

"Trump wants to pass a law banning grocery stores from selling shredded cheese... ... in order to ""make America Grate again"""

"Bush Senior broke his neck He was trying to show Jeb Bush how to dodge wrenches, hey Jeb if George can dog a shoe then I can dog wrench!"

"Husband to daughter's boyfriend... ...""Glad to finally meet you. I've noticed you in our food budget for some time now."""

"Did you hear about the pyromaniac who was on the dating website? He was looking for the perfect match."

"Daughter yells ""I love bananas, the bigger the better"". Wife and I laugh hysterically, Then I die a little inside."

"I hate when girls say, ""you probably say that to every girl."" don't you use the same resume when applying to different jobs?"

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds."

"What's it called when you throw Indian food at someone? Naan-aggression."

"I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me"