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Joke of the Day
"I was straining on the toilet this morning. ""Where's the fucking sieve?"" asked my wife."
Next Joke
"A nice one (maybe repost) I don't smoke, I don't drink, I never swear and - Oh shit my cigaette fell into my beer!"
"Q: How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None-there weren't any light bulbs in the 13th century."
"What are a boyfriend's two most dreaded words? Missed."
"[Rumpelstiltskin comes to take first born son] ""Give me what you promised unless you can guess my name"" Here ""Aren't you going to guess?"""
"Ate a vegetable about 5 hours ago...Still no abs."
"I chug everything I drink just so people can't say I have a problem with alcohol. So you're telling me I have a problem with Pepsi too, mom?"
"A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park."
"I just long for a relationship with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out on something cool on television or the internet."
"Yo mama's so stupid she can't pass a blood test."