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Joke of the Day

"Two redditors walk into a bar, you won't believe what happens next! Seriously. I knew you'd click it."

"When my mother was 53 she started running 5 kilometers every day. Now she's 68 and we don't know where the hell she is..."

"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin with a rash."

"What's the difference between math and meth? One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth."

"Remember kids, those light up sneakers won't seem so cool when wolves are chasing you through the woods at night."

"You really shouldn't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school? Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself."

"Hills have eyes... They also have ""L""s"

"Johnny shows his new watch to his girl friend. Johnny: My watch says you are not a virgin Girl: But I'm still a virgin Johnny: My watch is 20 minutes fast"

"I saw a man 3 foot 3 outside my house looking for my utilities readings Turns out he was the metre man"