67904

Joke of the Day

"I've recently invented a new gaseous compound I like to call 'Fuh'. I like to spray myself with it before I go out. It often causes people to Fuh-cough."

"What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Kwanzaa. I don't think anyone has a clue what that holiday is."

"What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come !"

"I got a flyer in the mail that said ""Get into a new car no questions asked!"" Bullshit... my neighbor still asked WTF I was doing in his BMW."

"Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin? Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out."

"Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb shit."

"A good surprise is like an invisible penis... ... you never see it coming."

"They say real men hunt their food, which is why I throw a spear through the box of pasta before letting it bleed out in my shopping cart."

"How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?"

"When life gives you lemons... Just be glad it's not AIDS"