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Joke of the Day

"I've recently invented a new gaseous compound I like to call 'Fuh'. I like to spray myself with it before I go out. It often causes people to Fuh-cough."

"You mean ""apps"" isn't short for ""appetizers""? Why did I buy this smart phone if it can't download nachos?"

"You're so ugly that You're so ugly when you went to the store to get your photos developed they threw away the memory card"

"My friend told me my mustache makes me looks like Jeffery Dahmer. I said, ""Thanks. I've always wanted a killer stache."""

"Sorry I wasn't ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found."

"Man goes into the store... ...and he's quite startled by what he sees. The clerk has these great bushy eyebrows. Horrified, the man stutters, ""Can eyebrows your inventory?"""

"What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project? Krautsourcing"

"If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bar..."

"What got the apple into skydiving? Pear pressure."

"Him: I'm a lover, not a fighter Me: [already has on boxing gloves] Awwww, that's so sweet, should be an easy knockout then"