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Joke of the Day

"How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?"

"True story I've met a research geologist whose work was groundbreaking."

"Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the scale Buzz Lightyear popped up and said ""TO INFINITY... AND BEYOND!"""

"i heard they were giving away batteries down the local discount store turns out they were free of charge."

"What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident"

"I love how people always leave voicemails when I miss their calls. It's like they want to be ignored twice."

"Wife ran into my ex girlfriend today. I asked if she still looked good? Always wondered what the worst thing I could say was. That was it."

"Whoever said ""Just showing up is half the battle"" (a) didn't understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up."

"They don't have blood banks in England ... ... but they do have a liver pool."

"Accidentally walked into a mosque ""This isn't where I'm supposed to *be headed*"""