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Joke of the Day

"I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crimes"

"This sub has taken a dive recently I guess I should put my phone in rice to try and dry it out."

"Why was the lobster upset? Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!"

"Rape Baby A guy goes to job interview. His employer asks how his parents met. He says he is a rape baby. The boss asks if he mom is Christen. The guy asks how do you know?"

"God said to John, ""Come forth and recieve eternal life."" But John came fifth, and received a toaster instead."

"Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar."

"*dad walks in on me doing homework* ""HAH NERD MORE LIKE HOMOWORK"" Dad you're still in third grade ""Probably because I'm not a nerd like you"""

"Apparently ""You probably don't hear this a lot, but I think you're quite attractive"" isn't a very good pickup line."

"What has 5 balls and rapes the poor? The lottery."

"Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house."