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Joke of the Day

"God said to John, ""Come forth and recieve eternal life."" But John came fifth, and received a toaster instead."

"Bras come in sizes = AA, A, B, C, D, DD, E, OMG, WTF."

"*hairstylist holds mirror behind my head after styling my hair* ""Is that ok for you sir?"" ""Yes that is a beautiful mirror. I'll take it"""

"The liquid inside a fire hydrant is H^2O, but the liquid on the outside is K9P. Courtesy of schnauzers-rule.com"

"Since I have a lot of exams next week... I decided to buy a Seahawks jersey. That way, I'm sure to pass even if I shouldn't"

"How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, you fucking racist!"

"When interviewer asks to describe yourself > Interviewer1: Describe yourself > Interviewee: HIRED > Interviewer2: [Whispers] Holy shit can she do that?"

"The people who wear Bluetooth headsets always look like the people least likely to ever receive phone calls."

"What is the French verb that means ""To declare war""? *Surrendre*"

"I was going to buy a drawbridge But apparently they're let downs."