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Joke of the Day

"Before you bludgeon to death that drifter who broke into your apartment and passed out on your futon, ask yourself: when did I buy a futon?"

"Why did Snoop Dogg bring an umbrella? Fo Drizzle."

"What is a suicide bomber's biggest fear? Dying alone."

"I wonder which woman said..... ""yep I'm gonna put it in my mouth and see what happens."""

"I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore. I kinda want to date him now."

"How best to save the iPhone from FBI? Crack it before they hack it."

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"I've invented a new flavour of crisps, if they're successful I'll make a packet."

"""Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants"" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... In a burlap sack and on the back of a donkey."