67847

Joke of the Day

"Before you bludgeon to death that drifter who broke into your apartment and passed out on your futon, ask yourself: when did I buy a futon?"

"What's the cheapest meat to buy? Deer balls. They're under a buck."

"Thanks to the Fed continuing to print money, a picture is now only worth 583 words."

"I really like being a trophy husband. I just wish I wasn't a participation trophy."

"What's 14 inches long and makes women scream at night? Crib death."

"What do you call a racecar driver? A racist"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from ""colour""? Because fuck u that's why"

"A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses medicine."

"There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note ""Don't eat me"".Now there's an empty plate and a note ""Don't tell me what to do"""