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Joke of the Day

"I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore. I kinda want to date him now."

"What do you get when you mix up literature and alcohol? Tequila mockingbird Or Ernest Hemingway"

"How do you stop hearing jokes written for 12 year olds? Unsubscribe from r/jokes!"

"Mixologists, bartenders, how to make a smoky manhattan? You fly a plane into the WTC"

"My ex is coming to town tomorrow so I have to lose fifty pounds by morning."

"Me: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Ryan Gosling? Him: Me? No, but thank- Me: Ok just making sure."

"I never know what to do in these situations. Do I shake the boyfriend's hand or kiss her cheek to show how much I appreciate her ass?"

"Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real... Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle."

"What do you call a cow thats had a hysterectomy? Decaffeinated."

"If you're upset about the presidential election, just wait four years then you'll be able to choose between Trump or Kanye"