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Joke of the Day

"I doubt this is what the financial advisors meant when they told Lays to... adjust for inflation."

"Boss: Got good news & bad news. Me: Ya? Him: I'm leaving for another job. Me: Ok..Whats the bad news? Him: .. Me: You planning to come back?"

"Whenever people say they're willing to do ""whatever it takes"" to ""make it in Hollywood"" they never mean ""patiently work on their craft""."

"Opened a can of Pillsbury rolls and was reminded of why I shouldn't wear skinny jeans."

"What gave Hitler a heart attack? Seeing his gas bill"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes? My all time favorite joke. Sorry if it has already been posted but who has the time to browse all of r/jokes."

"Why was Pinocchio acting drunk? He couldn't handle his lacquer"

"I told my toilet to go eat shit... I probably shouldn't have said that because he got all flushed."

"What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together? Carbon Dating."

"I had to nickname my dick... (NSFW) SunnyD, because kids love it!"