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Joke of the Day

"Racist jokes are like a suicide bomber They really clear the room."

"Me: let's go vegetarian Husband: can we still eat eggs M: of course H: fish? M: obviously H: bacon on special occas- M: we'd be crazy not to"

"Can secretaries really write memos with both their left and right hands at the same time? Or is that just stereotyping."

"Writing cuss words on the white space of textbook pages is marginally offensive."

"I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him"

"Freud was wrong, I have no desire to sleep with my mom I'd bang the shit out of my aunt, though."

"FRIEND: What 3 books would you have on a desert island? ME: My first book is more books. F: What? These aren't wish M: Second book's a TV."

"What is the Easter Bunny's favourite sport? Basket-ball of course!"

"They told me to spread love wherever I go. Now everyone is complaining about being covered in Nutella. You can never win with some people."

"A Northern Virginian dies and wakes up in Hell He is surprised that Maryland can wake the dead."