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Joke of the Day

"Teacher : What are you reading ? Pupil : I dunno ! Teacher : But you're reading aloud ! Pupil : But I'm not listening !"

"The last fight I had with my wife was my fault. She asked me what was on the tv. I replied, ""Dust."""

"Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag."

"I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet."

"The Names of Politicians Bush... Dick... Boehner... Weiner... And they say politicians sometimes win via *name recognition*."

"Did you know if you put your ear up to a strangers leg, you can actually hear them say; ""What the fcuk are you doing?"""

"The hot chick I hooked up with last night must be a Berny Sanders fan... Because when I went to go pee, I could feel the burn."

"So I shot an elephant in my pajamas.. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."

"My gynecologist didn't think my ventriloquism skills were as charming as I did."

"What's a porn stars favorite drink? 7up in cider"