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Joke of the Day

"I saw a poor old lady fall on the ice today Atleast I think she was poor. She only had $.75 in her wallet."

"Being Mute. Being mute means never having to say you're sorry."

"Cop: You know why I pulled you over? M: Speeding? C: No! M: Not using my blinker? C: No! M: Because I'm drunk? Cop: Sir get off the mower!"

"This morning I woke up confused and in the dark. Then it dawned on me."

"Asian airlines offer new deal to customers... Pay only upon arrival!"

"Bread is not emotionally mature enough to have threesomes When you spread your nuts all over one slice, the other gets jelly."

"What did one coffin say to the other? Is that you coughin'?"

"What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A small medium at large"

"A wise man once said nothing."

"Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo? They only had two cars."