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Joke of the Day

"Happy 15th bday, Internet Explorer! We baked you a cake. What's that funny taste? Definitely not poison. Have another slice!"

"I spent all day yesterday putting my old watches together to make a belt. When I finally finished I realized it was just a huge waste of time."

"""Dad, what do you think about abortion?"" --Ask your sister --But I don't have a sis..."

"Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he was married."

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"Job interview... (Two men are in an office going through a job application) Manager: ... so, what do you do in your spare time? Applicant: I make clean calls to women and hang up."

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers But the cashier keeps putting it back."

"Asian's pets Asian's eyes don't water when their pets die, their mouths do."

"Gonna do a few laps around the office talking into a pop tart like a cell phone just to remind my co-workers that safety is an illusion."

"Hmmm... If I throw a watch in the garbage.... Is that considered a waste of time..?"