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Joke of the Day

"You think we should see other people? I'm bipolar. I am other people."

"Tension between Katy Perry and Taylor Swift is heating up... ...and Obama is ordering air strikes on Syria, like that's gonna help. What an idiot."

"Sequencing. What's the key to a good joke?"

"Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead."

"A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border. The Ukrainian border guard asks, ""Name?"" The Russian answers, ""Boris."" The border guard asks, ""Occupation?"" The Russian says, ""No, just visiting."""

"Apple said they are building a new car. Apple said they are building a new car but they are having trouble installing windows."

"Why can't you trick an unemployed jester? Because he's nobody's fool!"

"I went into Whole Foods tonight and yelled, ""Somebody's Labradoodle just jumped out of a parked Subaru!"" and everyone ran out."

"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. (Jackie Mason)"

"How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ? He has cat-arrh !"