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Joke of the Day

"Dear Neighbours, ""She's coming"" isn't a great warning to give when I walk by and you stop talking."

"Why were people angry wen the chiken crossed the rd? Cus he looked one way, then another way after."

"What's the top song by the Vietnamese Beatles? Rice Fields Forever."

"My wife said I needed to grow up I was speechless It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth"

"Did you hear about the brain implant that can fix stupid? It's called a bullet."

"*Answers door naked* Jehovah's Witnesses... Me: Do you have a moment to let me tell you about my sex life? Here, have this pamphlet."

"What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers? They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right."

"Why didn't the comedian make a tree joke? He wood have, but he decided to leaf it to other branches of the community."

"I told the barista my name was ""Britney Spears"" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with ""annoying white girl"" written on it instead"