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Joke of the Day

"(Work in progress) I want to have sex with a news reporter. I want to have sex with a news reporter. As soon as enter her, I want to scream ""This Just In!"""

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Robin, get in the batmobile."""

"If your wife says ""what would you do without me?"" ""Live happily ever after"" is NOT the correct answer."

"In Russia, if you're blue, and you don't where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits: Putin on the Ritz"

"Reports coming in of mass sheep rustling Suspects on the lamb"

"If I was a magician I'd ask someone in the audience for a $20 bill and then just run away. You could prob make like $40 doing that."

"What is a goal keepers favourite snack ? Beans on post !"

"Three cows are standing in a field. Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow!"

"Why does Kim Kardashiani have a big butt? because she never had to work her butt off."

"I like my wine like I like my women Stored in a dark basement till they're 5 years old"