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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, and Michael Jackson rapes kids and gets away with it."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car? When it comes to the police car, all the pricks are on the inside!"

"I like my women like I like my milk... White, with 2% fat."

"I was doing a Maths exam yesterday. I looked up to find the lad at the next desk staring at me. I said, ""What the fuck's your problem?"" He said, ""The square root of 144."""

"To all the people who doubted me growing up: looks like you're gonna be right on this one. Well played."

"if someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun"

"How does a French lady hold her liquor? By the ears"

"I was going to tell a mean joke about EMT's but I didn't wanna get... ... carried away."

"Feline-loving fashionista's favorite music? Techno. *boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats-n-boots-n-cats*"

"Did you hear about the campers with explosive diarrhea? That shi* was intense."