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Joke of the Day
"It's 2011, microwaves should have one button that says Cook Shit."
Next Joke
"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan."
"[my first day as a financial investor] ""I'm going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?"""
"So I sat down on the toilet... ...and my cat ran out from behind it. It scared the shit out of me."
"My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will."
"Justin Bieber said to be just devastated to hear the news on the Boston marathon . . . . . .but hopes that everyone involved are fans."
"The shortest way to piss off a hipster... Apple phone & iwatch"
"How fucking furious do you think homeless people get when ""Mo Money, Mo Problems"" comes on?"
"Why USD erected so fast? Why falling US$ erected so fast after GFC?"
"If Gingrich were to win the presidency... ...can we call his current wife the ""third lady?"""