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Joke of the Day

"I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there."

"A man walks into a bar... ...ouch"

"My iPhone just autocorrected ""everyone"" to ""wartime"". I'm not entirely sure what that means but I'm pretty sure we're all going to die."

"if one member of the motorcycle gang has to pee do they all stop or does he just have to catch back up?"

"I tried to walk into Target But I missed. - Mitch Hedberg"

"Damn Reddit, Aren't you tired of this bullshit?"

"My proctologist has PTSD He has seen some shit"

"Stop editing ya'll pics. What if you go missing? how you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook & chief keef in person."

"Dance like nobody's watching you. 'Cause they're not. Nobody cares. ~Inspirational tweet~"

"You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?"