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Joke of the Day

"I tried to walk into Target But I missed. - Mitch Hedberg"

"What do women and dog-poop have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"What do you call a white, poofy space alien? Martianmallow."

"A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender ""I'll have a gin...and tonic."" Bartender says ""OK, but why the pause?"" ""I was born with them."""

"I'll never reveal my secrets. Alcohol: Lol."

"A group of protesters are in front of a physics lab ""What do we want?"" ""Time travel!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Irrelevant."""

"""911 whats ur emergency"" omg im DYING ""we'll send someone right awa"" i met THE funiest guy ""ok wait so ur not actualy"" AND HE STABBED ME"

"Don't get offended. Only racist jokes... Q: Why are Black people so tall? A: Because their KneeGrows."

"I went to a place to buy some weed, turns out they didn't have any but they sold some shoes... I don't know what those things were laced with but I was tripping all over the place."

"Boss: Everyone is behind schedule and making excuses. Does everybody here think I'm an idiot Me: Don't ask. They swore me to secrecy."