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Joke of the Day

"What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet? Underlay! Underlay!"

"Someone rang me up today and tried to sell me a coffin. I said that's the last thing I need."

"How many feminists does it take to dismantle the patriarchy? None. Once they shut up, no-one has any reason left to oppress them :)"

"My wife was gang raped, impregnated and gave birth to a baby boy named Muhammed. Now they want to kill us for depicting the Prophet Muhammad."

"I got a dig bick. You this read wrong. You read that wrong too."

"Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France? Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance"

"I come from a long line of people with convenient principles *helps an old lady cross the street because a girl is watching*"

"Do you know why you should never hire a communist employee? Because they only work in theory"

"5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions... I'm just gonna let that sink in for a second."

"If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs."