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Joke of the Day

"Imagine how expensive the iPhone would be if they called themselves Organic Apple."

"What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod!"

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team."" So there."

"What's a masochist's favorite type of pasta? Smacaroni"

"When it comes to friends...I'd rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies."

"My wax museum is going to start small by focusing on famous people who look like candles."

"*Pauses Titanic during the most romantic part* *Turns to GF* ""You know, Contra was really easy. But I still liked using the 100 life code"""

"How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics ?"

"<job interview> It says here on your resume that you are a ""self-proclaimed man of few words."" Would you like to elaborate on that? Me: no"

"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger!"