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Joke of the Day
"When it comes to friends...I'd rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies."
Next Joke
"What's round and black and blue? A blueberry that occasionally gets hit by her husband"
"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom of the page"
"Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times... Then I pick up the block, and put it back in the toy box."
"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behaviour"
"I bet all this shit started because someone told Trump he couldn't be president and Trump said ""hold my beer, watch this"""
"Imagine going back to the Middle Ages and telling people that we can fly in the future. They'd be like ""DUDE WTF are you wearing Crocs?"""
"[on date pretending not to be a dung beetle] Date: What's your favourite meal? Me: Poop Date: What? Me: SOUP, I like eating soup"
"What do you call a cow that gets hit by a car? A dead cow! (My 5-year old made up this joke)"
"I always hate going to my Rastafarian friends house its dreadful"