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Joke of the Day

"Call a woman beautiful a hundred times... Call a woman beautiful hundred times, and she won't remember. But call her fat just *one* time, and she'll never forget. Because elephants never forget."

"I love Italian jokes. They really help the day go."

"A family walks into a hotel... The father goes to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck!"""

"Pouring one out for your homie is extra sad because first your friend died and now there's a mess."

"Get your shit together,... or you will die, Aria."

"what do you call an alligator in a vest? ... An investigator"

"Why isn't there a Wal-Mart in Iraq? ....because there is a target in every corner."

"My european friend Opee is opening up a restaurant where he claims to have the 'worlds best pizza'. His restaurant is in the middle of no where, but don't worry Opee Delivers"

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"Why did the elephant paint his balls green? Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados"