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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin? Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays"

"I just want to be rich enough that I don't have to watch DIY videos on YouTube every time something in my house breaks."

"All my life I've wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it."

"Whenever I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind, I just run a few ideas by my cat and then I feel better."

"Me: ""I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly."" Ian: ""I'm a medium."" Me: ""I need someone better than that."""

"I jumped into the pool with my iPhone.... It's syncing now"

"My friend said he was worried he's losing his hair I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head"

"Why do Muslims love shopping at Ross? Because they can dress foreless."

"If intelligent people don't start procreating faster than the trash in ""Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,"" we're all heading towards a very dismal future. Am I the only one seeing this?"

"i'm wearing a jetpack to my job interview tomorrow so if they turn me down i can disappoint everyone there by just walking out calmly"