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Joke of the Day

"I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer."

"Just bought a guitar. The sale felt a little dodgy, lots of strings attached."

"The President of Nintendo Died... The ambulance went WII U, WII U, WII U"

"Um how poor are you to sell your own yard? For real. And like, nobody's going to buy it with tables full of junk all over it. Geez. Idiots."

"My friend recently visited London. He said everyone was very polite, except in Greenwich. Whenever he asked someone for the time they got all mean about it."

"Hey, hot stuff. Pretty sweet vagina you got there. Maybe later, after I unload the dishwasher, we can-No? That's cool. I have stuff to read."

"Why did the rope not get any presents? Because he was knotty."

"I hate when women try to talk about sports... You don't see me in the kitchen telling them how to make a sandwich."

"What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Lukewarm."

"What do you call a group of babies? an Infantry"