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Joke of the Day

"you become your ""real you"" when you are hunched over eating a burrito on the toilet and you look up and see yourself in the mirror"

"5 out of 5 coworkers think I should be wearing pants. All of them are from HR though, and who knew they could get to my cubicle that fast."

"Alway be nice to anyone that has full unhindered access to your toothbrush."

"Current fitness level: arm is tired from brushing teeth."

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain't no sandwiches either."

"What are the two main differences between a Chihuahua and a German shepherd? 1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation"

"Tasteless V D humor Roses are red Violets are blue I've got a hard on You know what to do"

"What did one font say to the other while at the beach? ""Serifs up, dude!"""

"Some people are about as useful as the ""r"" in February."

"Justin Bieber roast during commercials Holy s**t balls.. what a roast so far. Who else is watching and laughing their a$$ off? Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss"