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Joke of the Day

"What are the two main differences between a Chihuahua and a German shepherd? 1. Spelling 2. Pronunciation"

"Great news! Chipotle is giving out thousands of free burritos tomorrow! That means I'll be seeing thousands of you by this weekend!"

"What did one shark say to the other? These Malaysia Airline meals aren't bad."

"I disagree, but I respect your right to be stupid.!"

"By law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it's raining in Sweden. How the hell am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden?"

"I'm going to start a charity for the clinically insane. Gonna call it ""Fundamental"""

"I went to Russia, met a guy called Vladislav * **Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.**"

"caught my son running a google search for "" shit stain pussy "". i am beyond distraught. we are strictly a Bing family"

"He sat down and ordered a drink... The bartender said ""I'm sorry. We don't serve faster than light particles here."" A Nutrino walked into a bar."

"What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder ? Bubble and squeak !"