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Joke of the Day

"Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air ? Because eggs were going up !"

"What do you say when someone hands you a nice, ripe blunt in Germany? Danke"

"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double-entendre. So he *gives it to her.*"

"I'm not saying I've got a girl crush on you, I'm just saying lesbiadorable together."

"Look, if all you have is candy corn in this van, I'm going to have to get out."

"Say what you want about pedophiles! At least they slow down in school zones."

"What is eternity? Two self-conscious guys taking a shit in a public restroom."

"""Hey, careful with that iPod, man, that was expensive."" ""So? You didn't pay for it."" And that's how my kid learned the truth about Santa."

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, ""Wait a minute. I have that."""