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Joke of the Day

"I just read a Facebook ad that said ""Come in a designer, leave a CEO."" Not sure why they're offering dating advice, but okay."

"An owl decided to make romantic advances towards another owl. To wit, to woo."

"""Doctor, how's the patient?"" Doctor: He's critical. Patient: Dear prospective viewers, remaking 'Point Break' was a bad mistake. Utterly pointless."

"What did the gay man say at the bar? ""Hey, can I push in your stool?"""

"What's the difference between a $1000 used car and a Rolls-Royce? One's a grand car and the other's a grand car"

"What's brown and sticky? A Stick"

"I bet Seal is terrified of shark week."

"4 yr old daughter calls her ankle bones ""my balls"" in case you were wondering if I was raising geniuses over here."

"Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave."

"What did the letter O say to the letter Q? ""For God's sake man, put some pants on!"""