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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side? A: So the cops can find the handles."

"How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb? Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of."

"I heard the next Steve Jobs movie will be on IMAX. It's the same movie, just on a bigger screen."

"I needed to get a shipment of almonds to the airport quickly. It was so weird to call Uber and ask if they could drive me nuts."

"What do fat people call the runs? The walks"

"The only thing my girl friend blows Is everything out of proportion"

"My boyfriend said that I'm more than enough woman for him, and now I'm mad because I think he called me fat."

"I have a Muslim friend with a Note 7... It only gets awkward when he shouts ""Allahu Akbar"" when plugging it in."

"Brothels in Thailand have a red and white striped pole outside like a barbars shop! I didn't know! Imagine my shock when I went in and asked for a 'number 2 all over'"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? A black guy was following her."